10 Realistic Ways to Stay Positive - Part 8

Don’t be paralyzed by perfection. I grew up in a family that has OCD and was drilled from a very young age that if you couldn’t do it perfectly --don’t do it all.

It was my freshman college roommate who began to point this out to me. She would get up and make her bed before she even went to the bathroom. This was just as comforters began to be popular. She was a very neat person, but made her bed by pulling up the sheets and pulling the comforter over them. She pointed out that one of the reasons I hated to make my bed was it took 15 minutes. I pulled down the top sheets, smoothed out the bottom sheet, pulled the top sheet perfectly to the top edge…and the whole process ended with the bedspread the exact same amount from the floor the whole length of the bed.  It really did take 15 minutes.  It was the beginning of learning not everything had to be perfect. 

 I still am a little nuts about how I make the bed, but have made great strides in changing how I approached things----and it is amazing how much more I get done. A day with my family members reminds me how far I have come!

10 Reallistic Ways to Stay Positive - Part 7

I will probably never be a person who does yoga or meditates in the morning. I did learn however to do something that helped me start the day in a better place.
I love to read and I started keeping a stack of “positive books” where I have my morning tea. Some I have read a million times, but they always make me move to a good place. Some I just open and read a page---I believe it opens to where I need it to be. Some I read “as a book”. It doesn’t matter what you read as long as it gives you that morning lift. And if you only have 5 minutes…it works. If you can steal a ½ hour even better.

10 Reallistic Ways to Stay Positive - Part 6

See the great things that happen every day. This takes making it a habit to get through the really bad days.
I learned this one day when I had gone through a year of stress and grief. I was driving along and suddenly saw the October sun on the great field of pumpkins---and I feel my whole self just shift to a better place. After that I decided to jot down every night three things that were positive that happened that day.
I know some people journal---I am a bullet point person. They were only for me so they did not have to make sense except at the moment I was reflecting back on that day. Some days I would think I would not even find one. I would think of some stranger who gave me a smile, the way I saw an animal play or some phenomenal chocolate I had that day---and I would remember that every days there are seconds of "great" even if we would prefer minutes or longer.

10 Realistic Ways to Stay Positive - Part 2

Action is a great way to get back on track.

Sometimes you feel like your whole life has been hijacked by other people.
Even if you want to start ---you do not know where to.

If you have never made a list in your life, write down two things (no more) to do. If you have
been a list maker all your life, do not write your usual 15 item list---only two for you also. (Maye even MORE important for you chronic list makers!)

If you are really overwhelmed start small---like putting the dishes away. Don’t start with “World Peace”, but two very small, almost non-thinking types of things.

Do one, cross it off. You will have more energy to do the second. If you can do
more after the two, put two more on the list. Repeat. Every time you get
something done you will feel stronger, better and yep---more positive.

10 Realistic Ways to Stay Positive - Part 1

Cut yourself some slack.

Don’t beat yourself up and think “People have it much worse than me---I do not have the right to feel this way”. Some days life is just wrong in all ways. It’s ok to think and feel that, but then accept you still have to deal with it.

Re-run or Repeat of the "Year of Re"

Many of you know I set a theme for last year - -2011 ---called the "Year of Re". And then it did not happen. Or happen the way I thought it should might be a better description---in many years it very much Repeated the 2 years prior! (Note to self ---be clear what you put out to the universe!)

I aways say I am a work in progress---aren't we all? ....and I have set backs once in a while. Some years it is more than once in a while.

So while last year did not go as I had planned, visualized, hoped---choose the word that works for you---I realize now looking back it did set a huge foundation for my future. And I believe a strong one. I realized some of the things I had planned on happening could not work with out a few more "setbacks".

So that being said, and being reminded the other day that it is always good to have a theme for your year, I decide to Repeat/Re-run the "Year of Re". Actually I will not be repeating the year---only the theme.

So here is the description---from 2011--of the Year of Re.

This is my year of Re.Reconnect, Rebuild, Resolve, Remember, Restart, Reset, Reborn just to name a few. The challenge will be to select the correct Response depending on the situation, the goal, the time, place, people---one solution does not fit all. There will be times when I want to Rebuild or Reconnect when the Real answer is to Resolve and Release in my heart and my head.The Real goal is to Reconnect with myself, a journey that will take me to a new and better version of what I had reached two years ago when life changed unexpectedly. I share this to hold myself accountable and maybe that somewhere, someone will be helped by my honesty, amused by the silliness, motivated to do something or take time to think about things.I am not looking to change the world, only me. But you are welcome to come on the journey.

Re: The Year

This is my year of Re.

Reconnect, Rebuild, Resolve, Remember, Restart, Reset, Reborn just to name a few. The challenge will be to select the correct Response depending on the situation, the goal, the time, place, people---one solution does not fit all. There will be times when I want to Rebuild or Reconnect when the Real answer is to Resolve and Release in my heart and my head.

The Real goal is to Reconnect with myself, a journey that will take me to a new and better version of what I had reached two years ago when life changed unexpectedly. I share this to hold myself accountable and maybe that somewhere, someone will be helped by my honesty, amused by the silliness, motivated to do something or take time to think about things.

I am not looking to change the world, only me. But you are welcome to come on the journey.

The Best is Yet to Be...

This year I am choosing not to wish people a Happy New Year. I am not wishing them the happiest year ever. I want them to have much more than that. I want them to have their Happiest Year...so far.

What is the fine line? Ever to me implies it will be the best year of their whole life...ever. I don't want that--what am I going to say next year? "Well I know you had your happiest year ever and it is all down hill from here--but I am sure it was worth it!"

Uh, no.

But I feel if we approach the year as our best year "yet", it not only gives us hope for this year, but also reminds us that until we die, the potential is always there.You will build even a better year in 2010, based on your incredible 2009. Think of it as compound interest on your life.

For me I honestly know, on the surface at least, that this will not be my best year to date. It will however be my best year in almost 10 years, because certain things will be drawing to a close. Finishing them will not be happy to go through, but the other side is incredibly bright. And I have often found that some of the best parts of my life have started at some of the worst moments of my life.

Before you think I am not human, it is not like I have always realized this when I was in the middle of them. In the moment I am in grief, sadness, anger, despair, frustration, stress ( I told you I am human)...but looking back great gifts came in strange packages.


Richard Bach in "Illusions" says (paraphrased):

"You are never given a problem without a gift for you in its hands".

So for you this year I hope you find all the gifts, strange and otherwise, and that you have your happiest year...so far.

The Best is Yet to Be....

Joanne