10 Realistic Ways to Stay Positive Part 9

Life is for the most part a series of little steps, when we actually want to leap. As I was writing this someone said—“Like clean a room instead of the whole house”. I was thinking more like cleaning one counter top.  There are moments when one room is too overwhelming. 

 

 The smaller you break down the steps the more manageable it becomes to deal with.

10 Realistic Ways to Stay Positive - Part 8

Don’t be paralyzed by perfection. I grew up in a family that has OCD and was drilled from a very young age that if you couldn’t do it perfectly --don’t do it all.

It was my freshman college roommate who began to point this out to me. She would get up and make her bed before she even went to the bathroom. This was just as comforters began to be popular. She was a very neat person, but made her bed by pulling up the sheets and pulling the comforter over them. She pointed out that one of the reasons I hated to make my bed was it took 15 minutes. I pulled down the top sheets, smoothed out the bottom sheet, pulled the top sheet perfectly to the top edge…and the whole process ended with the bedspread the exact same amount from the floor the whole length of the bed.  It really did take 15 minutes.  It was the beginning of learning not everything had to be perfect. 

 I still am a little nuts about how I make the bed, but have made great strides in changing how I approached things----and it is amazing how much more I get done. A day with my family members reminds me how far I have come!

10 Realistic Ways to Stay Positive - Part 3

Do something physical to vent your frustration.

If you are not the exercise type I have found that chopping vegetables
(careful with the knife!), crushing bread crumbs or some equivalent, or one of my favorites--- throwing glass bottles in the big recycling bins (not good if you have curbside pick up) somehow helps.

Re-run or Repeat of the "Year of Re"

Many of you know I set a theme for last year - -2011 ---called the "Year of Re". And then it did not happen. Or happen the way I thought it should might be a better description---in many years it very much Repeated the 2 years prior! (Note to self ---be clear what you put out to the universe!)

I aways say I am a work in progress---aren't we all? ....and I have set backs once in a while. Some years it is more than once in a while.

So while last year did not go as I had planned, visualized, hoped---choose the word that works for you---I realize now looking back it did set a huge foundation for my future. And I believe a strong one. I realized some of the things I had planned on happening could not work with out a few more "setbacks".

So that being said, and being reminded the other day that it is always good to have a theme for your year, I decide to Repeat/Re-run the "Year of Re". Actually I will not be repeating the year---only the theme.

So here is the description---from 2011--of the Year of Re.

This is my year of Re.Reconnect, Rebuild, Resolve, Remember, Restart, Reset, Reborn just to name a few. The challenge will be to select the correct Response depending on the situation, the goal, the time, place, people---one solution does not fit all. There will be times when I want to Rebuild or Reconnect when the Real answer is to Resolve and Release in my heart and my head.The Real goal is to Reconnect with myself, a journey that will take me to a new and better version of what I had reached two years ago when life changed unexpectedly. I share this to hold myself accountable and maybe that somewhere, someone will be helped by my honesty, amused by the silliness, motivated to do something or take time to think about things.I am not looking to change the world, only me. But you are welcome to come on the journey.

Focus and Fighting vs Focus and Accepting

I grew up in a family where "fair" was a key word, in language more than actions. I found myself as an adult still frequently thinking or saying that things weren't fair. The reality is they frequently are not, but also you could argue the whole case on what is the definition of "fair". Maybe we will do that another day.
The key thing for me is that there are things that enter your life that are not fair. Sometimes we bring them on, sometimes they are dropped on us. I used to sometimes get stuck at the "it's not fair" stage. Didn't exactly move me along to resolution. Finally one day it dawned on me---just because it is not fair does not mean I do not have to deal with it.

There's a difference between being focused and fighting what's "getting in your way", and being focused and accepting the variations. I have found that the less time I fight and get angry with these unexpected happenings, and more time figuring out why they have been given with me, my energy is higher, my life is happier----even through the "crap", and I get through it faster, easier, better and learn more than how to "fight" harder.