Keeping it in Perspective

I have found when you are the most upset sometimes people say things that only add to it---even though they mean well. They sometimes come off patronizing which only tends to add gasoline to the fire. Two of my "favorites" are "Calm Down" and "Breathe". I realize these might work for you, but you probably have others that set you off. Few of us can let everything just roll off our backs.

I have found it is much better if I can pull myself back from the edge---or better yet never let it get that far.

After a series of life changing events (aren't they all if we let them be?) I was standing by the police who were taking a report of my car being stolen from my mechanic's property. We were all putting our heads together to get all the information. I remained calm and positive throughout.

Finally the officer turned to me and said "You are taking this rather calmly."

I turned to him and said "I have reached the point in my life where if no one is sick, hurt,dying or dead---keep it in perspective."

This was not the first time I had thought this, or maybe even said it, but I realized it was true. Did I want to have my car stolen? No. Did I know it was going to be a hassle? Yes (and it was). Was it replaceable? Yes. Would the situation be fixed? Yes.

This truly has become one of my mantras and it has gotten me through some very challenging times. Of course it also becomes true when someone is sick, hurt,dying or dead, but that is a story for another day.

Re-run or Repeat of the "Year of Re"

Many of you know I set a theme for last year - -2011 ---called the "Year of Re". And then it did not happen. Or happen the way I thought it should might be a better description---in many years it very much Repeated the 2 years prior! (Note to self ---be clear what you put out to the universe!)

I aways say I am a work in progress---aren't we all? ....and I have set backs once in a while. Some years it is more than once in a while.

So while last year did not go as I had planned, visualized, hoped---choose the word that works for you---I realize now looking back it did set a huge foundation for my future. And I believe a strong one. I realized some of the things I had planned on happening could not work with out a few more "setbacks".

So that being said, and being reminded the other day that it is always good to have a theme for your year, I decide to Repeat/Re-run the "Year of Re". Actually I will not be repeating the year---only the theme.

So here is the description---from 2011--of the Year of Re.

This is my year of Re.Reconnect, Rebuild, Resolve, Remember, Restart, Reset, Reborn just to name a few. The challenge will be to select the correct Response depending on the situation, the goal, the time, place, people---one solution does not fit all. There will be times when I want to Rebuild or Reconnect when the Real answer is to Resolve and Release in my heart and my head.The Real goal is to Reconnect with myself, a journey that will take me to a new and better version of what I had reached two years ago when life changed unexpectedly. I share this to hold myself accountable and maybe that somewhere, someone will be helped by my honesty, amused by the silliness, motivated to do something or take time to think about things.I am not looking to change the world, only me. But you are welcome to come on the journey.

Focus and Fighting vs Focus and Accepting

I grew up in a family where "fair" was a key word, in language more than actions. I found myself as an adult still frequently thinking or saying that things weren't fair. The reality is they frequently are not, but also you could argue the whole case on what is the definition of "fair". Maybe we will do that another day.
The key thing for me is that there are things that enter your life that are not fair. Sometimes we bring them on, sometimes they are dropped on us. I used to sometimes get stuck at the "it's not fair" stage. Didn't exactly move me along to resolution. Finally one day it dawned on me---just because it is not fair does not mean I do not have to deal with it.

There's a difference between being focused and fighting what's "getting in your way", and being focused and accepting the variations. I have found that the less time I fight and get angry with these unexpected happenings, and more time figuring out why they have been given with me, my energy is higher, my life is happier----even through the "crap", and I get through it faster, easier, better and learn more than how to "fight" harder.

A Plan is no more or less than you make it......

A plan does not mean things cannot be changed. It means you have a path to start. It means you have a destination in mind. It does not mean you will go the exact way, with the exact people, in the expected time. It means you will know when you get to that destination, and if you accept all the twists, turns, drops, jumps, characters you meet, and time you many feel you have "wasted"--- the destination is even better than you dreamed.

Best is a Moving Target...

From January 1...

Happy New Year! We saw 5--yes 5---bluebirds today while we were out walking! I was just talking about bluebirds the other night. If they are the bluebirds of happiness---it is going to be a great year!
2011 was once again a time of lots of change, but one big thing I am grateful for is Mom did not spend one day or night in the hospital or a rehab facility....

Wishing everyone the best year.....and when it is not the best, may you have the best people around to help, the best knowledge, the best resources and faith in yourself that you are truly doing the best you can on that day---I have learned "best" can be a moving target ---Love, Joanne